Hey all, this is Captain Dumbass from Us & Them. Confused, keep reading.*
(If you came over from my blog, I may have stretched the truth a little about the wrinkles and penis enlargement, but since you're here already...)
This is my little sister's 100th post and she asked if I'd guest post for it. What could I say? She let me stay at her house this weekend and fed me while the Dumbass family was up visiting Dumbasistan. So, here's a Random Tuesday 100th post guest blog. Or, my sister's 99th post and my 846th since she didn't actually write it. Cheater.
Dear God, did I just use the words "little sister" and "penis enlargement" in the same sentence? No. There's a picture in the middle. And three periods. *move on, move on*
How about a few "thank yous."
Thanks Miki, my darling niece, for stamping Liam with purple dots from what I can only imagine was a Sharpie. Those 200 purple dots are still there on his arms, legs, stomach and chest. They're not going anywhere either which is good since he's decided they are his little purple spider friends.
I'd really like to thank my children for making our trip back from my family's so enjoyable. Really, hearing you two draw out the word 'booooooooring' or asking 'are we home yet?' every kilometre of our nearly 400 kilometre trip was magical. Truly magical. Yes, honey, we're home. We live in a FUCKING FORREST!
And thank you Josh and Dakoda for teaching my sons 'stupid jokes.' These are jokes that aren't funny unless you're under 4 feet tall and don't make any sense whatsoever. Apparently a lot of them had something to do with a stapler because staplers are funny. Really funny. If you're six. Thanks.
Thanks, Liam, I've always thought my hair was zero too.
Thanks, Connor. Should I take it as a sign that you see daddy as a T.rex?
In the middle of writing this I got a call from Supreme Leader telling me she'd just emailed me a link. It was a quick call. There was mirth. The link turned out to be Grammar Girl: Quick & Dirty Tips. Guess she's getting tired of my constantly asking her where I need an apostrophe. A couple of weeks ago she actually stuck some post-it notes to the front of our computer with my usual offenses. I can already feel the teachers who read me shaking their heads. What can I say, I'm getting dumber. I am pleased to see that while 'alright' (which I use constantly) isn't technically a word, since language is constantly in flux, it is on its way to becoming real. *sticks tongue out*
Speaking of Post-it notes...
Ok, you know the routine. Head to Keely's, grab a button.
*Still confused? Sucker!